Where Dreams Unfold Read online

  “Hey,” a deep voice behind him. “Keep moving forward.”

  Bill glanced back over his shoulder. The guy behind him was big. A couple of inches taller than Bill and enough shoulders that you wondered how he fit through doorways.

  “Wait a sec, who are you?”

  Before he could answer, Cassidy Knowles came up the hall behind him. “This is the man that I told you about, Perrin’s friend. Bill Cullen, Russell Morgan, my husband.”

  The guy suddenly loomed taller, his light eyes darkening. “Bill. Cullen.” His voice deepened like a storm gathering over the infinite deep of the ocean.

  Before Bill had time to duck for cover, someone was tugging on his sleeve from behind.

  “Bill,” Perrin’s voice.

  He turned carefully, keeping an eye on the big guy for as long as he could. He ended up facing the woman Perrin had first greeted.

  She glanced over Bill’s shoulder at the man Bill could only assume still loomed behind him.

  “Oh, cut it out, Russell. There’s beer in the kitchen, now be a good boy and behave.”

  The big guy slipped by a little sheepishly carrying a couple bottles of wine.

  Cassidy patted Bill on the shoulder as she passed. “He’s harmless, but he means well.”

  Bill remembered the far more nuanced, but perhaps more dangerous threat this woman had made on Perrin’s behalf and restricted himself to a careful nod in reply.

  “Hello, I’m Maria,” she held out a graceful hand.

  “Mama Maria Amelia Avico Parrano Stanford,” Perrin corrected her and slid a hand around the smaller woman’s waist. Mama Maria could never have spawned the tall, blond beauty that was Perrin, being darkly Italian and full-figured, but they stood as close as Adira and Tammy ever had.

  Bill didn’t know if he should shake the offered hand, or bow and kiss it. He decided on the latter. It earned him a bright laugh and a quick hug.

  “So, Perrin brings home a man for the first time. And she doesn’t tell me beforehand. That means that she’s really worried.” Maria briefly flashed a radiant smile at Perrin. “And my Perrin never worries about men. I look forward to getting to know you Mr. Cullen.”

  “Bill.” He tried to think of something more intelligent to add, but didn’t come up with anything.

  “She’s scary smart,” Perrin told him, leaning down to kiss Maria on the temple.

  “Just like you.”

  That earned him Maria’s full attention. “You see her?”

  “I, uh,” Bill scrabbled about to find an answer to the odd phrasing of the question. “I see a brilliant, beautiful, chaotic, loving, wild, confusing-as-hell woman who I can’t seem to look away from. If that’s what you mean, then yes.”

  Maria pulled him down to her level using their still-clasped hands and then she kissed him lightly on each cheek.

  “Yes,” she whispered in his ear. “That’s exactly what I mean.” Then she stood back up. “Now, go meet everyone,” and she gave him a gentle push into the room.

  Perrin took his hand and went to lead him forward as the latest arrival greeted “Mama Maria” and began asking about her honeymoon. A quick glance revealed a darkly handsome Mexican man and a beautiful, slim Italian woman, both in their twenties, both sporting wedding rings. They had that newly married look, both smiling so hard their cheeks must be hurting. Even fifteen years later, he still remembered that feeling with Adira. So sharp, so visceral, it took his breath away.

  “Uh, hang on,” he tugged Perrin to a stop, pulling her sideways slightly out of the fray. “I need a second.”

  She held his hand and kissed him on the shoulder, then settled. Though he could feel her vibrating with good cheer.

  First he looked at the setting. It was stunning. To his left was a long table, already laden with flatware and candles and several cold dishes. The wall behind the table was covered in pictures. Formal portraits and candids, many more of the latter. Though when he leaned in, he saw that even those were magnificent. He recognized a number of the faces as being in this room.

  “Russell’s work. He’s such an amazing artist with his camera, I just try to be as good with my fashions as he is with a lens.”

  “Russell, the big guy?” At Perrin’s nod, all he could do was wonder. More proof that you could never judge someone from the outside; Bill would have guessed stevedore or professional intimidator for a loan shark. Of course, he was married to the very elegant and sophisticated Cassidy Knowles which told another story. One that he’d like to hear someday, though he doubted he’d believe it, they made too odd a couple.

  The side wall was mostly books which led to a comfortable-looking seating area near a wall of windows. Beyond the windows spread the Seattle waterfront in all of its sunset glory. The condo was perched at the top of Pike Place Market. The piers that they had explored over the weekend were spread immediately below. Elliott Bay, alive with ferries, sailboats, and a tug-escorted container ship, stretched out into the distance where the Olympic Mountains rose silhouetted against the sunset sky.

  “It’s magnificent.”

  “Thanks.” A man had also retreated to their safe corner as the crowd in the condo grew. “Hogan Stanford, Maria’s husband. Have you met her?”

  “Oh yes,” Bill spotted her headed into the kitchen. “I’ve definitely met the Queen Mother.”

  “Queen Mother. That’s good, I like it. Isn’t she amazing?” His smile, more serene but no less radiant than the other couples, told Bill exactly who had been on the honeymoon with Maria.

  “Nice tan. How was the trip?”

  “You a sailor?”

  “Not much,” Bill looked out at the water and the several sailboats skimming along in the last of the evening breeze. “But I’d like to take the kids out someday.”

  “Oh, we can definitely arrange that. Make an outing of it. Russell’s boat or mine. Then—”

  “Did you say, ‘kids’?”

  Bill found himself shaking hands with Jo Thompson. She stood quite close and was not releasing his hand.

  “I did. I have two of them.” Jo Thompson made an interesting contrast with the other two friends. Perrin had told him enough to know that the three of them had gone through college together. Perrin might not speak of anything prior to turning eighteen, but she couldn’t say enough about the two women she’d met twelve years ago on her very first day of school.

  Perrin was the tall, slender blond. Cassidy, the trim, and nicely figured brunette. And Jo Thompson the seriously built, raven-haired, Alaskan beauty. Bill also knew that if he didn’t take some control shortly, Jo and Cassidy would steamroller him right back out the door on Perrin’s behalf.

  “You three,” Bill offered a nod to include the approaching Cassidy. He noted with some chagrin that Hogan had wisely abandoned ship. “You must have cut quite a swath through the men.”

  “You’ve got no idea!” Perrin offered one of her ridiculous giggles. Suddenly she was in full whack-a-doodle mode. “Jo found this one guy and latched onto him for four years, just so she didn’t have to deal with dating. Sneaky, but dull. Cassidy, sheesh, she was so shy that if she hadn’t had Jo as a roommate and me across the hall, no guy would have even known she was there. It was all up to poor Perrin to make sure these two had any college stories to tell at all.”

  Bill watched with interest as the two women reacted to Perrin laying out their sex lives at his feet. No shock, no surprise, and, curiously enough, no anger. The slightly manic Perrin was a wholly accepted fact and still they loved her. Cassidy had even slipped a hand around Perrin’s waist from the other side as she continued.

  “And no matter how much sex these two are getting from their new husbands, about which they tell poor Perrin depressingly little, they still haven’t turned me into an auntie. Now I ask you, Mr. Cullen, is that fair?”

  Bill looked at the two wome
n, inspecting them as carefully as he would an opera singer about to tip off the deep end. They were expecting… Well tough! It wasn’t what he was thinking, so all sails ahead or whatever sailors said and damn the consequences.

  “I’m on your side, Perrin. I think that’s really unfair. They should be having much more sex. And not telling us the all the juicy details, where’s the fun in that?”

  He could feel Perrin do a little dance step hop of glee against his side. Cassidy almost doubled over to hide a sharp snort of laughter.

  Jo, who had retained his hand, studied him with those dark, dark eyes of hers before delivering her verdict.

  “You just might do, Mr. Cullen. You just might do.” Her slow smile lit her face like magic as she shook his hand solidly. He’d thought her pretty enough, but that rare smile transformed her into a great beauty.

  When the two women finally moved off, probably to compare notes, Perrin threw herself into his arms.

  For a long moment, he didn’t care who was watching or what they thought, he just pulled her in and buried his face in Perrin’s hair and reveled in the scent of the woman in his arms. He loved feeling her warmth. Holding her joy tight against him.

  The dinner itself was a long, wonderful, maddening, incredible experience. At the table, Bill had ended up between Maria and Perrin, apparently a place of quite some privilege. Which raised eyebrows in some parts of the room, but not many.

  Thankfully, there were a lot of stories in addition to his own. Maria and Hogan’s sail up the Italian coast. Angelo, the handsome Italian chef who had married Jo Thompson, was still working on opening his second restaurant by the Seattle Center. When Bill told him when opening night of Ascension was, Angelo immediately decided that was a perfect night for a Grand Opening of his restaurant as well. Maybe he’d even get some before and after opera patrons for dinner.

  Russell, rather than continuing to threaten Bill, started talking about some kind of a mutual marketing campaign. While a restaurant was small potatoes compared to a new opera costing upwards of five million dollars to produce, he suggested some interesting possibilities. They made an appointment for the next morning to talk about it further. He’d make sure to vet the guy personally before bothering Wilson or Chloe over in Marketing.

  The Mexican man, Manuel, apparently a fine Italian sous chef, had taken the glowing Graziella to his family home in Oaxaca for a combined wedding and honeymoon which explained the newlywed smiles.

  Angelo declared a reception dinner at his restaurant next Tuesday, rather than dinner at Maria and Hogan’s. “And, Manuel, you will not be allowed in the kitchen.” Based on Manuel’s reserved look, Bill would wager on his finding a way in no matter what his boss said.

  Maria and Hogan had married at Christmas, but not wanted to travel until the pastry chef for the new restaurant had been trained and approved by Maria. Apparently the second week of Maria’s honeymoon had been even harder on Maria from worry than on poor Ignazio trying to meet her standards all on his own. A round of toasts and many cheers were raised on his behalf, while he did his best to glow at the far end of the table, it mainly looked like a blush from where Bill was sitting.

  All that news traveled back and forth over some of the most amazing food Bill had ever eaten. Lasagna, so not microwaved. A mac and cheese made with fresh-made pasta, very aged cheese, and prosciutto. A side of salmon broiled with baby asparagus, venison flank braised with a mushroom-Barolo sauce, so rich it almost killed him. Steamed vegetables tossed in a white wine, lemon, garlic sauce… The plates seemed infinite yet were all consumed. It was capped off with a pear poached in stout beer for dessert. The evening was finished by tiny cups of decaf espresso laced with Frangelico hazelnut liqueur and many heavy sighs of contentment.

  “You folks do this every week?”

  Maria nodded at him, “Is there anything better than family around a table?”

  Bill tried to come up with something, but… “Not a one I can think of, ma’am.”

  “Tell me more about your children.”

  “Better than that, if I’m invited next week, I’ll bring the kids if they’d be welcome.”

  “Always!” Maria replied emphatically. “Children are always welcome.” She waved a hand at all the new couples seated about the table, “I expect many children to sit at this table for many years to come.”

  Bill lifted his right hand, where it still held Perrin’s left. He liked that they were opposite handed, so that they’d been able to hold hands for much of the meal, even while they ate. He kissed the back of her knuckles. It delighted him that it was so normal it didn’t distract her from her conversation further down the table, other than to squeeze his own hand back without turning.

  When had he tipped over the edge? What moment had he decided that not only did he want to come back next week, with Perrin, but to offer to bring his children? That was… He could feel the blood draining from his face. Too fast. It was all happening much too fast.

  Tammy, who had already been too grown up, was blossoming straight into womanhood from Perrin’s influence. And Jaspar was what? He’d practically thrown a five-year-old’s tantrum about staying at Lucy’s, though he’d been looking forward to it just days before. Bill had looked to Tammy for guidance, but she’d shrugged her shoulders helplessly. He’d tried talking it through, and finally just told him to get over it. He apologized to Lucy when he dropped them off for the horrid mood Jaspar was in. He had no idea—

  Maria tapped her tiny espresso cup against his, drawing his attention back to her. “It’s hard to know what to do, isn’t it, Mr. Cullen? Especially when children are involved.”

  All he could do was nod.

  “I was very careful with men around my son and Russell. But perhaps I was too careful. They turned into such fine boys, that I must have done something right, but Angelo grew with no father. John Morgan, Russell’s father and my employer, was a good man but he was no father to Angelo. He had a wife and a son of his own. A thousand times I wonder if I made the right choice.”

  “He’ll make a good father. They’re a beautiful couple.”

  Jo and Angelo had begun to clear the table. When he rose to help, Maria rested her hand lightly on his arm. “Not on your first visit.” Others were already rising, apparently based simply on who wasn’t deep in conversation at that moment.

  He settled back in his chair, not sure if he was comfortable with the continued conversation. How was he supposed to change his mind and say that he couldn’t bring his children when she was being so gracious?

  “Yes, it’s hard to know, Mr. Cullen.”

  Bill turned to face Maria once more.

  “So, it will be our secret. You will bring your children when you are sure and not before.”

  The relief was stronger than might be seemly, but he couldn’t help that.

  “Perrin was right, you’re scary smart, Maria Stanford. She didn’t mention that you are also amazingly kind.”

  Maria sipped her coffee, leaving him some space to gather his thoughts. Scary smart indeed.

  “I don’t suppose you’d care to tell me anything about the woman beside me?”

  “You mean other than I wish with all my heart that she, of all women I’ve ever met, had been my daughter?”

  That knocked Bill back in his seat. Everyone, except her new husband, called her ‘Mama Maria’ as if she were mother to them all. Yet from this amazing crowd of people, she had singled out Perrin.

  “Really? Why?”

  “Yes really. And because Mama Maria is scary smart, you said so yourself, therefore it must be true. And there is one other thing I would tell you, Bill.”

  It was the first time she’d used his Christian name, as if he’d finally asked the right question, it had just taken him all evening to find it. She reached out and placed her hand over his heart.

  “All the love you have in you
r heart for your children and your poor departed wife?”

  “Yes?”

  “Perrin will need that much. She will need so much before she will trust herself. So you will have to trust for her.”

  “Why can’t she trust herself?”

  “That’s up to her to tell you, if she decides to.”

  “And if I can’t trust her that much?”

  “Phfft!” Maria flicked her fingers dismissively. “Your heart already knows or you would never have mentioned bringing your children here. Your mind just don’t know it yet, but it’s already true. Don’t worry, dear boy. You’ll get there.”

  # # #

  They sat quietly in his car. Bill had pulled up in front of the store, parked the car, and turned out the lights. He made no move to get out, and Perrin waited with him in the dark silence. A lone streetlight was shadowed by the trees leafing out along the sidewalk. A few other cars were parked along the block, but there was little traffic.

  “I don’t know if I can do this.” He kept his hands on the wheel.

  Perrin didn’t move, suddenly still as a frightened child.

  “No, that didn’t come out right,” he reached out and picked up the hand he’d held most of the night. “There’s just so much inside me. It’s all so jumbled up that I don’t know what to do with it. It’s good, Perrin. I swear to god it is, but it’s big. So big.”

  She slowly slipped her other hand over his, trapping his fingers between her hands. Her tension eased, but her silence didn’t.

  “I… ” He looked up at the trees, down the street, over at the out-of-business tattoo parlor. Right back where he’d started. “I don’t know what to do with all that’s going on inside me.”

  “Welcome to my world,” her voice was soft. “I’m smart enough to know what’s going on inside me. But I can never seem to straighten it all out. Like trying to build a costume that keeps falling apart because a key seam was never sewn, but by the time I fix it, another three have unraveled.”